Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Dear Anonymous
I have been extraordinarily remiss in thanking you for your comments and words of encouragement. I blame the lackluster of my current state of affairs for my prolonged absence. I'm pretty sure nobody wants to hear about how I am, per usual, super behind in all of my classes and how the only thing I seemed to have mastered is a shameful abandonment of all discernable smidgens of discipline in all aspects of my life. (Again, per usual.) My kickball team did recently beat our opponents 24 to 6, epitomizing unnecessary awesomeness, but I feel that at 27, if that is the only bright spot in your life, you need to do some serious rethinking. Any and all suggestions welcome!
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Clara,
ReplyDeleteAt 25 years old, I fell into a similar rut. I had a series of emotional set-backs through out my life, some of which were serious, some only seemed that way at the time, and some of which I created for myself. Nevertheless those feelings culminated into leaving me at the bottom of a very deep, dark hole that seemed inescapable. To make matters worse, I was living at home with my parents with no job, and no prospects for getting one. I had no significant other, and could not recover from the rejection of the one that I thought would be forever. At twenty five, I had become an idiot who embraced binge drinking, a fast car and fast girls; although none were the panacea I was seeking. Daily, hourly, by the minutiae, I was looking for a reason and the avenue to escape my negative feelings, and most of my thoughts revolved around asking, “What could I do for myself?”
The answer was in a place I never though of looking! No, not Alien abduction or God; I tried both: I waited but they never showed up, and he said fix it yourself! My friends had recently joined a volunteer firehouse/ambulance company (Okay, that’s almost like an alien abduction!), and so I joined too, albeit for many of the wrong reasons. I was required to immediately take a first responder CPR/first aid class. It was something new so I was mildly interested, but two weeks later that changed and when it had pointed me in the direction of knowing where the answer to my question lied. Suddenly, a random happenstance had me very interested.
I helped somebody! During week two, I was called to a doctor’s office for a man in cardiac arrest. I immediately realized that the dead guy, for whom I was performing CPR, was far worse off than me. At twenty five, I was mostly an idiot, but not a complete idiot – just barely! Miraculously, and not by my lowly novice skill alone (There were EMTs and eventually Paramedics at the scene), the man lived! A light bulb went off over my head, and from that epiphany, I knew what I was going to do with my life. Over night my melancholy demeanor had been replaced, and I felt renewed. It brought me back to who I thought I was, and helped me onto the path of becoming who I want to be.
Since then, I have been working for a large city helping others in various capacities, and never looked back. Spanning two agencies, and with lots of luck, my career has kept my happy, which is more than I can say about others who continually lament about the lameness of their jobs. What makes my job rewarding is solely that it is a means to an end. I have also volunteered at a zoo and a school since that time, and I have learned that volunteering, without asking for anything in return is one of the most rewarding things a person can do.
To help others is to help yourself the most.
BTW – I stumbled onto your Blog by chance, and I check on it occasionally because I think that you are a talented writer with a terrific sense of self-deprecation and whimsy.
-Doug
Dear Clara,
ReplyDeleteI continue to come back to blog, again and again, to see if you have a new post up. Like I've mentioned before, I'm not a blogger, nor do I follow other blogs. But your blog is on my bookmark and when I want some creativity in my life, I come back to see if you have a post. I still remain your number 1 fan.
Thank you for the note. : )