The motto of my last 12 months has been FAILURE. Although it is a frequent theme in the story of my life, I seem to have been especially hell bent on emphasizing and maximizing it this past year. I don't have the heart to go into details anymore. Just as the The Stupid List in college, when it reaches the point of continually starring me, to the total exclusion of other qualified participants, it becomes tedious, tragic and even more pathetic. I have decided that my new goal is simply to DO BETTER. (And having set the bar pretty low, this shouldn't exactly be a challenge...) As I find myself in the agonizingly familiar state of failing on all fronts, I feel a bit like our pal Charlie Sheen (well, minus the cocaine, hookers, trashed hotel rooms, rants and job loss...).
As I am on the cusp of turning 27, to remedy this malady and rescue myself from the relentless rut I find myself in, I am going to start DOING things. The main source of my woes is my club foot. Despite getting the screws out of it last week, it is still sore and uncooperative. Since it plagues me no matter what I do, I have decided I am just going to deal with the pain and exercise anyway. This will likely require me to go see a physical therapist, which I detest, but at this point, I am willing to try anything.
I am also going to try to adhere more to a raw diet. I scuffed at a friend who recently went vegan for Lent and asked if I'd ever done it, but I am starting to re-evaluate my total dismissal. A raw diet is akin to a vegan diet, with heavy emphasis on vegetables, fruits and nuts, but also recognizes proteins such as fish, which I can deal with. I also don't agree with the vegan philosophy of no animal by products. I'm all for furry creatures being happy, but I'll kill your cow in a minute to savor some sweet, sweet meat and have a nice, durable pair of shoes... Thus, ideologically, I am much more in line with the Native Americans belief of respecting animals, hunting only for food and preventing superfluous waste by using as much of the animal and its byproducts as possible.
As for keeping my spirit soaring instead of sinking, I will not sleep in past 9:30 am on any day and I will refrain from playing computer games instead of completing assignments or reading books. I will also try to focus more on the positive. Instead of watching a movie like The King's Speech and wondering how the fuck a movie about a man with a crippling speech impediment could've won an Oscar instead of a gold star at the Special Olympics, instead of being annoyed that said 2 hour movie could've been summed up in 2 minutes: stutterer finally manages to make a speech, instead of wishing that the film could've focused more on the capricious older brother and his scandalous lust after a shameless divorcee with some rumored Shanghai boudoir skills, I will instead try to be happy that determination and tireless hard work can prevail against cruel odds. But, that might be biting off a little more than I can chew, so for now, I just won't watch movies that may potentially bring out the horrible human being in me. I'll focus on encouraging the more humble and likable person that I can be... As I said, I want, need and can, DO BETTER!!
